Everybody Loves Opal, a comedy by John Patrick

This is a wacky, extravagant comedy about the infectiously cheerful Opal and a trio of down and out con artists who think Opal needs plenty of insurance and a rapid demise. Opal Kronkie, a middle-aged recluse, lives in a tumble-down mansion at the edge of the municipal dump. The general disarray of her establishment is aggravated by the fact that Opal collects things--anything that can be toted home in her little red wagon. Opal is also an optimist, for no matter how mean her lot responds with unfailing kindness and an abiding faith in the goodness of human nature.

Into her rather strange world comes Gloria, Bradford and Solomon, three purveyors of bogus perfume on the lam from the authorities. Opal's menage is the perfect hideout remedy for their shattered finances. They decide that what she needs is plenty of insurance, a rapid demise, and three beneficiaries named Gloria, Bradford and Solomon. Attempted murder wouldn't seem to be funny, but in Mr. Patrick's magic hands it is uproarious.